Tuesday, February 8, 2005

It's 1am right now...come to think of it, it's actually the eve of Chinese New Year....yay...finally! Kayyin smsed me around 12 something just now...asking me whether i wanna join them for a karaoke session at CS tomorrow or not....of coz i do wanna go! provided my parents let me go lar....hehe..will try to use my convincing power on them tomorrow...muahaha.


Sometimes, i do think that i'm not my real self when i'm blogging here. i dunno why. I tend to portray this happy-go-lucky mood whenever i blog. But deep down inside my heart, i feel sad, depressed, disappointed with the world around me, and many other negative thoughts you can think of. Ironic, isn't it?


Actually, i'm still searching for my own true self. It's a difficult task. The most difficult task in life i must say. Finding my own true self is like finding for my ultimate purpose in life. TOUGH. Who knows, i might not be able to find my own true self in the end. How sad that will be rite? I might be changing my own true self for god-knows-what reasons or motives... they're all in my subconscious mind. Inevitable actions, no doubt. I may be changing for other people...i may be just changing for my own self...I may be changing for my family...I may be changing for the society. Yeah...too complicating, i admit.


Honestly, i really do not know what i'm blogging now. Perhaps u might think it's crap. But well...who cares rite? it's MY way of thinking...my way of blogging...( though sometimes it may appear to be quite crappy and meaningless) Dun really care what the outside world think of me... Just wanna be myself... as original as possible... as original as i like it to be...


Gosh, my mind is literally blank now. Wanna sleep...but dun wanna sleep at the same time. chatting with irwin right now in MSN. Boy, can sense that he's feeling real down....AWWWW....sigh.......cheer up baby....There's a solution to every problem in life....always look on the brighter side of life....be more positive, as you've always told me.


Being in love is kinda unique. When your special someone feels real down or sad, you will tend to share the same feeling too...dunno whether it's cool or not though. Guess becoz we share the same love, the same heart...when two becomes one. Hmm...tat's what i'm feeling nowadays......love can be sweet and painful at the same time....... sigh.


hope i'm not sighing too much here....it's time for me to end this crappy blog....gdnite......

by Yina at 1:53 AM |